Letting Go of the Past to Make Room for Me

What Might You Be Grasping? How Can You Begin to Loosen the Grip?

Wow—what a question. One that took me nearly an entire day to process, not because I lacked answers, but because I carry so many of them. Daily. Constantly. It’s overwhelming how much I hold, how much I grasp—mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

What Might I Be Grasping?

To me, grasping is just another word for control. And control has been one of my biggest challenges—one I’m actively working through in this season of growth.

I grasp at the why behind answers I don’t want to hear or believe. I grasp at past traumas, hoping that by holding them tightly, I can prevent them from repeating. These traumas—relationship drama, insecurities, low self-esteem, and the belief that I must handle everything alone—have shaped my personality. But the older I get, the more I realize: this grasping is limiting my growth.

It’s not just about control. It’s about fear. Fear of being hurt again. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being seen.

How Can I Begin to Loosen the Grip?

This is the hard part. Loosening the grip feels like letting go of a life raft in deep water. But I’ve started learning that I don’t have to control every little thing. Even the smallest tasks can be delegated. That realization alone has brought a surprising sense of peace.

But the hardest grip to loosen? The trauma of past relationships. The deep-rooted feelings of worthlessness that whisper:

• “I’m not good enough to hang with that group.”
• “Why am I being invited? What ‘Carrie’ moment is about to happen?”
• “Why is he talking to me? I’m definitely not his type.”


These thoughts have become a crutch. And that crutch has crushed the positive image I’m trying to build of myself.

So here’s my truth: I need to believe in myself. I need to learn how to love myself—truly love myself—so I can allow someone else to love me, too. Emotionally. Authentically. Without fear.

The Journey Forward

Grasping is exhausting. But loosening the grip doesn’t mean forgetting. It means releasing. It means trusting that I can grow without clinging. That I can heal without control. That I can be loved without proving my worth.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s where freedom begins.